AAADD... Beware You Might Have It Too!

Ok, so yesterday my friend Lori emailed me this forward titled AAADD (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.) I read it and laughed hilariously because it kinda struck close to home for me. It explains some of the frustration in my life (SOME … but not ALL by any means LOL!) Anyways, I was honestly going to just copy the email and post it as a note on facebook and then post it on my blog, however… after my last oh I don’t know hour or so, I realized my daily life is basically the same darn thing.

I walked in my house after leaving Ophelia’s tonight with one goal in mind. Pay Bills! Ok, simple enough. I got paid yesterday so the money is in my checking account and I have all of my bills together on my desk so this should take 10 minutes tops. I put my school stuff on the couch and bring my purse over to the desk. This was approximately one hour and 20 minutes ago. I looked at my desk and realized I had a lot of extra magazines and miscellaneous other stuff strewn around and decided before I sat down to pay the bills I would just pitch some of it. I flip through a couple of the magazines and grabbed a couple of dumb advertisements for Dish Network and put them in a little stack. Good, I will throw the stuff in the trash and pay bills.

Well, I walk over to the trash can, which is right beside my sink, and notice that I have like 9 glasses in the sink (cause that is all I use at my house) that need to be washed. I may as well just knock those out real quick cause it will only take a second. So I go to grab a towel out of the drawer and notice that I have lightbulbs sitting on the counter waiting to go into the recessed light directly above me. If I would just climb up there and change the lightbulb then I could get those off my counter. So, I go over to get a chair to climb up on to change the lightbulb. Well, my chairs double as drying racks for some of my clothes after they have been washed so the chair had a couple of shirts hanging off of it. I guess I will just toss them into the dryer to fluff them for a second while I change this lightbulb. Of course I open the dryer door to find that I have clothes in there that need to be folded. Huh, forgot about them… then I look on the floor of my utility room and there are my clothes from the derby this past weekend. Dang, forgot about those too. Well, they need to have a little “Shout” put on them cause they are a little muddy. I grab it and start putting it on my jeans and remember that I had more clothes from that night tossed over yet another chair. I walk out and grab those and think, if I am going to start this I may as well turn on some music. I go back to my computer on my desk to open up iTunes and notice my bills… CRAP I got sidetracked!

I grab my checkbook and remember that I just got this new really cute checkbook cover… now where is it??? I dig around the desk (thinking I should really clean the rest of the desk up but I am NOT going to get sidetracked) and find it. Yay! I take my checks out of my old boring brown checkbook cover and attempt to move them into the new cute black with pink shoes and bags checkbook cover. The cover seems a little small and so I need to cut the back page of the checks so it will slide in. Where are my scissors? I think I remember seeing them in the bathroom for some reason (that I of course don’t remember) so I go in to get them. Sure enough they are there. Man I really need to wash towels. Oh…I was doing my laundry. I walk out of the bathroom with the scissors and set them down on the desk and look at the computer. Oh yeah… music. As I clicked on iTunes and looked around at my unpaid bills, my undone dishes, the lightbulbs on the counter, and the laundry laying all over the place I thought to myself, “Why bother posting the fictitious email Lori sent me? I truly live this everyday. Hmmmm….I will pull up facebook and then pay my bills!”

THIS AINT THE PLAYGROUND ANYMORE

Ok, so ever since my last post, (which by the way I was told that I needed to read it and follow my own suggestions) I have been trying to figure out just what game it is that comes after the playground games that men seem so fond of playing. I have been observing several of the fellas in my life lately… guys like my brothers, my friends, my girl friends’ husbands, and even men I don’t even know. What I found was that most post-playground games are slightly more complicated and require far more equipment than just a ball. Some games require things like a net, or a bat, or a car… or maybe some other type of toy (you know, like a power tool or something.) And some games actually necessitate a strong team to start the game or keep it going.
Let’s start with what looks like a volleyball game. Bump, Set, Spike… well at least that is what my recent experiences have looked like. The volleyball game usually occurs in two situations.

First scenario: Single girl’s friend decides she wants to set her friend up with her husband’s or boyfriend’s friend. Single girl stands blindly on one side of the volleyball net while her friend, her friend’s husband or boyfriend, and new potential date are all on the other side. It goes something like this… Friend hits the ball into play to her boyfriend/husband, the setter, who then must get the ball precisely to the exact right place for the new date guy to spike it over the net. If he likes this new mysterious girl, he hits the ball with just enough strength to get it across the net and into her hands. If not, pretty much he either deliberately hits the ball into the net so it hits the ground never making it across the net, or if a little of that dodgeball mentality is still in him, he spikes it across the net, slamming it down either directly on the ground or right in the girl’s face. In this case, the guy determines whether the game actually begins or not. If he does begin the game, the girl then gets to decide whether it becomes a true “volley” ball game or if she is not so interested and doesn’t want to play, then she can hit the ball back into the net or simply let it hit the floor and walk off…GAME OVER

Scenario #2: Guy initiates the game. For some reason he can’t get the ball over the net by himself. Not always, but usually it has to do with proximity. He’s just too far away from the girl so he needs some friends to help with the setting etc. to get the ball over the obstacle (the net in the case of volleyball) and into the single girl’s hands. Since the guy is the one to actually initiate the game, after the ball has successfully crossed over the net, once again, it is up to the girl to decide if she wants to hit the ball back across so that the game can continue.

Now, if either of these scenarios turn into a real game, what typically happens is that it becomes less of a team sport with the friends dropping out of play. The game may now begin to look a little more like another game that I have observed being played. This would be the game of badminton or if both players are more “type A” kind of players then it looks more like tennis.
Both badminton and tennis can have either 2 or 4 players, but remember, if there are only 2 players, it is necessary that there is one on each side of the net. If not and both players are on the same side of the net then you do not have a game, you have… a friend.

It seems as though I have had a great deal of practice with volleyball, badminton, and tennis lately. And while they are typically less painful than that darn dodgeball game, there is still usually a winner and a loser. And as we all know, losing is not any fun! So you ask, are these three the only kind of post playground games that exist? Certainly not! I have just scratched the surface here… there is definitely more to come!