Good Ole Days, Flashback, or I Ain't as Good as I Once Was?

So today I did the same thing that I do every Thursday... go to work. But on Thursdays I don't stay at the elementary school. Midway through the day I have to go to ERHS... yes, my former High School. Now most days I just walk through the front doors and go directly to the room I do speech therapy in and just do my job and then leave, but today for some reason was different.

From the second I walked in the door today, it felt like I was back in high school again. The aroma coming from the cafeteria was the first thing I noticed... it smelled just like it did in the late 80s. I paused just for a second and then continued down the hall that now has carpet and a nice paint job, but the sound of the lockers opening and slamming shut once again just made me fondly (or not so fondly) flash back to all the stuff I crammed into the locker that I shared with Mike Kuenstler all 4 years of high school. We weren't supposed to do that ya know, but "K" names got a locker right in the middle and "R" names were always either down in Ag Hall or Home Ec Hall. We only had 4 minutes to get from class to class, so a locker in the middle was a necessity.

Instead of going to the room I usually do therapy in, I had to go upstairs. Walking up the stairs I again felt like a high schooler. I felt like I was out of class on a pass going to my locker or something. I walked back downstairs and went into the Guidance Office where I used to be a "guidance girl" and looked at the bulletin board behind the secretary's desk. So many of the past guidance workers (guys started working in there a lot more my senior year) pictures were thumbtacked behind her desk...including mine. (And my brother's picture too from a few years later.)

As I walked out to leave the school, feeling like a high schooler, a group of what I will call "farm boys" were coming in. One of them opened the door for me and said here you go ma'am. What??? Ma'am??? Hmmm.... even in my cute winter coat, sunglasses and stylish boots, I was not going to pass for a cute little high school girl anymore. My hopes of ever starring on 21 Jump Street were crushed. (The fact that I remember 21 Jump Street proves that I am no longer a cute little high school girl.) Back to reality... Back to work!

Good Bye 2010

On this last day of the year, I sit here in my house listening to the pouring rain outside reflecting on the past 365 days. Its been a different kind of year, 2010. Well, maybe not. There have been some good times and some not so good times; I have made some new friends, reconnected with some old (well past) friends; laughed some, cried some; learned some, forgot some. I have been excited and disappointed; been in love and had my heart broken.

It hasn't been my favorite year, but I am still grateful for the good things that happened. And although not all my prayers were answered in 2010, it was still a good year. I suppose now I have 2011 to look forward to seeing what God wants to do with my life.

I am not one to make New Year's Resolutions because I know I never keep them. Instead I just look at my current vision for my life and see if there are changes I need to make for the upcoming year. Inevitably I will be promising myself that I will live a healthier lifestyle this year including eating better, drinking more water, and exercising. I will work harder, pray more, be grateful for the little things, and not sweat the other stuff. I will be a better sister, daughter, aunt, co-worker and friend. Yes, I have big aspirations and no, I will not do all these things perfectly, but "if you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else."

Carrots, Eggs, and Coffee

I read this on one of the blogs I have been following... Chasing Joy. I loved it and had to repost it myself.

CARROTS, EGGS & COFFEE

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, s he asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she
tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

I want to be the coffee... how about you?